With love being a big-time theme for the day and emphasis for the week, it’s fitting we jump into relationship problems first.
I think that a vast majority of the world’s problems occur within the framework of person-to-person conflict. It is probably safe to assume that most of your issues revolve around the relationships you have or the interactions in which you’re involved. There was strife in the very beginning of creation as soon as people entered the scene (complete with sibling rivalry and murder) and for the rest of our time on earth (and long past our existence), as long as there are people, there will be trouble.
Why?
I’m not a psychologist or doctor of any kind but I am pretty sure, based on my limited knowledge and few decades of experience with people, that there are 3 main reasons for this conflict. And 2 of the 3 stems from the first: fear, pride, and survival.
We’ll tackle survival and pride and then look at fear.
It is in our nature, the most basic instincts of a person, the hardwired innate deepest parts of the human-race, to preserve life at all costs. We can’t help ourselves. It starts immediately in life as we see babies scream, demanding their provision and toddlers revolt when not getting their way. One can also see it with the way in which kids react to things that they feel are threatening.
Survival is a primal behavior, and that disposition doesn’t just go away with age. With growth and maturity, the things we feel threatened by change or at least our reactions to them and ability to handle them change, but there’s still an internal battle we may not be willing to admit.
If survival is a shirt, then pride is a patch on it. Survival is often held together or accentuated with pride. Pride says, “I survived.” It is pride that builds up walls around the city of our soul while survival sets up heavy artillery on the walls and digs a mote out in front.
This little fortress is commissioned and controlled by a very militant authoritarian and ruthless dictator, FEAR. Richard Rohr says that there are 10 things that the soul cannot endure and among those are the thoughts of no longer existing and being insignificant. If these are deep longings of the soul then what would be natural guards against such a travesty? Survival and pride.
If we can see that every person has this internal preservation strategy going, including ourselves, then we will begin the necessary journey of healing, move toward restoration, and be more capable to extend grace, remove judgment, and see differently.
For some scripture to help us move forward in navigating trouble in relationships, I want to leave you with Hebrews 12:14 which says, “Make every effort to live at peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the LORD.” And also Romans 12:17 that is similar, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace for everyone.”
This won’t solve problems in all our relationships and I know we didn’t really address specifics like, gossip, lying, cheating, divorce, dating, sex, social media drama, or anything really practical. However, if we can change our perspective and move forward in this mentality, we will be on our way to experiencing the victorious life Christ Jesus has made available to us!
PS – And get Reese’s Peanut Butter hearts as well….they always help…unless you or they are allergic to peanut butter, then don’t; try ice cream!
#It’sMeI’mTheProblem
#FearPrideSurvive
#99Problems
#RestoringWholenessOfLife
Brett
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