I am in San Francisco for a conference and then team building and calendar/sermon planning for Guidestone 2025. I hate that I’m not with you physically but I am praying for you and still glad to be part of your service.
We are in our series Emotions: It’s Complicated; dealing with the 5 Components of Emotional Intelligence. Last week we checked out self-awareness. We learned that starting with WHY is important for our identity and being able to learn what we’re feeling and why we’re having that emotion.
But, as we get better at knowing the things that make us tick, we can and MUST move into the next phase of emotional intelligence - self regulation.
Self regulation is the ability to control, temper, appropriate emotions and actions in a variety of environments. Self regulation picks up where self-awareness leaves off. It’s one thing to know what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it but it’s another level of maturity to control the actions that stem from those emotions.
This starts as young children and then grows with us but often we stall out as we reach a functional place of existence in our world. This means, we do not naturally continue growing in this area past what works - I act this way when I feel like this (it’s just the way I am)… unless we are forced to or choose to.
I think it’s pretty clear and we can all think of examples of people who cannot regulate emotions. We see big emotions and demonstrative reactions. Often, the behaviors do not match the situation. They can be dangerous and destructive or just downright inappropriate for the circumstance.
If you’re thinking of a toddler, you’d be right on! If you’re thinking of your spouse, or a coworker, let’s not point fingers and let’s dig a little deeper. And maybe find out how we might need some better self-regulation skills as God is working in our restoration.
Not talking about Nate Dogg and Warren G’s posse, but if we wanna be self-regulators, then we need to feel what is felt and make a choice about the sequential action.
For this, I want to take you to Mt. Sinai and look at the sometimes forgotten brother of Moses, Aaron, where we can learn a really important lesson regarding the EAR!
Exodus 4-32
Signs, plagues, deliverance, miracles (water, manna, quail), desert wandering, pillar of fire and arrow shaped cloud, Moses up and down the mountain ten commandments and other instructions, relaying to the people.
The people say, “We will do what the LORD says,” and everybody’s on board.
Not very long into their desert wandering and Moses goes back up, 6 days in a dense cloud, on the 7th day, God spoke. And Moses spends 40 days on the mountain getting tabernacle construction plans, covenant details, priesthood protocol, sacrifice prescription, sabbath specifics, and PHEW!!!!
And the glory of God looked like a consuming fire to the people below.
Moses is up on the mountain really leaning into the LORD and connecting with God. Meanwhile, the people below are growing impatient. Aaron is in charge but knows what they are capable of and is trying to keep the peace.
And finally in chapter 32, they’ve had enough. Aaron, we need a new god, one to go before like before. This one has run out on us and Moses, our fearless leader, is probably dead. So, do something.
Gold earrings.
Gold = divinity, royalty, wealth, eternity
Earrings = status and wealth, beauty, but also covenant/commitment (slaves - Ex 21), and of course the ear is hearing - how are we influenced
Turning the influence and intended commitment to eternal status into something manmade and fake, a cheap imitation.
Aaron, shows us the danger in not being able to self regulate. Tantrums in Target are small compared to what happens here.
Every emotion NEEDS acknowledgement (self-awareness) but not every emotion NEEDS empowerment.
3 dangerous outcomes of lacking self-regulation - All about the EAR
-Easily influenced by others and emotions (and the world around us) {thermometer vs thermostat}
-Act unbecoming to character (who we want/strive to be) {chameleon vs poison dart frog}
-Relationships die
Philippians 1:27-28
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
#EMOTIONALintelligence
#SelfRegulation
#Emotions
#ItsComplicated
#RestoringWholenessOfLife
Brett
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