We are wrapping up our series Emotions: It’s Complicated; 5 Components of Emotional Intelligence.
*Wk 1 - we checked out self-awareness. WHAT can come from this; not WHY is this happening.
*Wk 2 - we checked out self-regulation. Control self, EAR (easily influenced, act unbecoming, relationship death)
*Wk 3: Motivation - propels us to reach a goal…but looking at the lines instead of the spaces (thinking backwards about the process)
*Wk 4: Decision Making - the capacity to identify and make responsible choices. Good decision-making involves taking action while understanding and accepting the outcome.
*final week - Social Skills: being able to create and maintain healthy relationships
Jonathan and David were besties. 1 Samuel 18 says that their souls were bound together. There was some special bond.
Do you have any friends like that? The kind of friend you’d share food with, secrets with, underwear with? A friend that is more like family? One who doesn’t have to knock when they come over and they help themselves in your refrigerator? You can go weeks, even months without speaking (although you wouldn’t want to) and pick up where you left off? The kind of friend you could punch in the throat and insult with daggers but high five and hug right after?
Apparently, Johnny and David were tight like that. Their relationship was a bit strange but withstood some substantial storms…mostly Jonathan’s dad trying to kill David, more than once.
Things rose to a climax when Jonathan questioned his dad about David and Saul, his dad, got angry. He insulted his son for defending David and threatened Jonathan’s inheritance.
Not only did Jonathan stand up for David to his dad but he devised a plan and helped David escape.
David went on building his influence and amassing a following. Saul continued to grow more furious and sought to kill him on more than one occasion. In this, Jonathan secretly met David to strengthen and encourage him.
Jonathan was killed by the Philistines along with a few of his brothers. His dad was wounded badly and had a servant finish him off so he didn’t “die at the hands of the enemy.”
David mourns this loss as Jonathan’s friendship meant more than any romantic relationship with a woman. After that, David becomes king and as he establishes his kingdom and grows the empire. He is doing exceptionally well and God is blessing him greatly.
In the midst of the success, David remembers his past life and the friendship that got him there. He asked if there was anyone in the family of Saul he could show kindness to for Jonathan’s sake.
Turns out that Jonathan had a crippled son that was raised by a servant. David brought him into the palace to be included as one of his sons and gave land and wealth and servants.
Jonathan and David’s relationship outlived its own existence and defied all standards of friendship. There are some key things that I think Jonathan gives us that we can inject into our social contexts and apply to our relationships and social settings.
Don’t worry, not every interaction will turn into to a Jonathan-David level friendship. But what we see in Jonathan, we can easily utilize to enhance our day-to-day interactions as well as more intimate connections as we use our enhanced emotional intelligence.
I’ll give you 4 Components of Jonathan that equate to great social skills. I want you to think of it like a stool - a seat and then 3 legs.
TRUTH - the seat (most important). Jonathan is ALWAYS honest. He seeks the truth, believes the truth, and tells the truth even when it is hard. So must we. Too often we lead with lies and deceit is the currency of the world.
The three legs are all equally important in essence and value, meaning great social skills don’t happen without any one of them.
AWARENESS - seeing the people around for who they are NOT what they can do for you. Also, seeing the needs and obstacles. Jonathan showed a keen awareness for all of this within his dysfunctional family and in David.
HUMILITY - Jonathan put his own royalty aside and shows there’s no room for pride in healthy relationships and to create lasting impact in lives around us.
COMPROMISE - we must come into groups or settings with an open mind, being willing to be challenged and maybe changed. We hold strong to our convictions (because we’re not easily influenced since we can self-regulate) but we value the situation and appreciate the perspective of others. There must be give more than rigid attitudes that don’t allow for possibilities of change.
#EMOTIONALintelligence
#SocialSkills
#EmotionsItsComplicated
#RestoringWholenessOfLife
Brett
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