I want you to think about all the places that you see boundaries. They are everywhere from personal bubbles to lanes on the highway. Of course there’s property lines, parking lines, and amusement park lines. And they ALL have this in common? Creating Order!
The purpose in these markers is to limit and disrupt chaos. There have been intentional efforts in orchestrating them to communicate clearly what is expected for all to know and follow. People don’t typically throw a fit about these boundaries or blatantly ignore them. If they do, there are consequences.
But some boundaries require something a little more intense as the threat is more substantial. Just like the US border and the demand in certain areas calls for a larger or more sophisticated fence, there are places in our lives that are the same. To wrap up the series I want to look at two of them that I believe are the most vital for our lives – CONNECTIONS and CONSCIOUSNESS!
I want to start with the mind since we know that our thinking determines our existence. And how we think will affect our relationships directly!
The mind is a powerful tool as we’ve talked before and remember, that we are “transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2). So, what happens in our heads is very important and can build us or break us. It stands to reason that we should put up more advanced defenses to protect ourselves.
How do we do that?
I think 3 easy efforts can substantially increase the protection here.
1. MEASURE. You’ve heard of “Garbage in – Garbage out” as well as the much sexier phrase, “I think therefore I am.” These give us the framework for what is beneficial and helpful to making our mind a machine of restoration. Ask yourself these questions: What type of person do I WANT to be? Will this help get me there? If what you are putting in or allowing to stay in does not promote the person you wish to become, then it must go. This first M-word is critical to help us create a sustainable barrier.
2. MATCH. We are taught that we must TAKE CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT and we can MAKE IT OBEDIENT to what we choose. Paul implores us to make them obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5) And then we read of what we SHOULD think about: “if anything is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy” (Phil 4:8). So, we can also, match up our thoughts to these and if they don’t align, then we arrest them and rehabilitate them to ones that do.
3. MATRICULATE. This means to enroll as a student. Jesus invites us to “take his yolk on us” and follow him (Matt 11). A yolk is what they put on oxen to pull implements in farming. Jesus tells us that his is easy. This metaphor insinuates to be paired with Jesus and the burdens and toil of life will be ALL within our capacity through this relationship. Becoming a student of Jesus will bring about that transformation for our mind!
According to minful.org, mindfulness can have a positive impact on our relationships. When we are in a healthy mental state and practice meditation of any variety, our stress is reduced which lowers cortisol levels, and in turn keeps us in a better place to function well in relationships.
Relationships require our constant watch and care. For them I want to offer the additional protection of guardrails. Obviously, boundaries are necessary but this platform requires additional protection in our culture. A guardrail is an additional line of defense at the marking of the boundary. If done well, they will certainly cause damage but save a person from the WORST damage and even greater pain and suffering.
It’s pivotal to have relationship boundaries for all kinds of reasons: to protect from sexual misconduct, abuse, physical pain, emotional well being, mental distress, professional downfall, legal trouble, neglect, financial ruin, situational accusation, and the list can go on and on.
Here are 3 guardrail thoughts when it comes to putting the appropriate ones in place. They are extremely valuable and although come with a little discomfort and pain, will protect from catastrophic destruction.
1. AWARENESS. It starts in our mind. Roadside guardrails are obvious and communicated. They are well marked and illuminated with reflectors. They are set in places that have been deemed more dangerous, like cliff edges or water hazards. So, you and I must determine the areas in our life where we are more prone to failure and setup something to protect against. Where do you stumble? What areas are pitfalls? Identity your weaknesses in character. Darkness cannot hide in the light so we should do our best to illuminate these areas as much as possible.
2. ACCOUNTABILITY. Telling someone not only brings it to light but also provides assistance. We don’t have to rely ONLY on ourselves. A guardrail is NOT something attached to the vehicle, and for good reason. If the car could stay on track by itself, there wouldn’t be need of one. Outsiders can see things we can’t, say things we won’t, and give strength we don’t have. It is so important to find someone (or more than one) we can trust in this process and allow them access to give assistance.
3. ANCHORED. An inflatable barricade is not really worth anything at all. If the guardrail isn’t firmly grounded and completely secured, then it serves no purpose. The anchor that provides that protection is truth. This is not subjective truth or relative truth; it is absolute truth. And we know that this truth is found in Jesus. Jesus himself declares that he is the way, the TRUTH, and the life (John 14:6). If we want to live into this reality, letting Jesus be our LORD, our leader, our life, will provide wisdom and guidance, guardrails and grace to navigate the most difficult relationships as well as other situations!
Guardrails may be uncomfortable to put in place, but if you have already established the worth of what’s within, then the pain of implementation or potential infraction is a very easy pill to swallow.
Remember, there’s a treasure inside of you!!!
#BorderPatrol
#Guardrails
#MentalLockup
#ConnectionControl
#RestoringWholenessOfLife
Brett
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